About once every month or so, I get a friend request on my Facebook page from a pretty young woman, usually in her late 20’s, early 30’s, who wants to be my friend. Her Facebook account is usually brand new, just a day or two old. It will contain a few pictures of her, usually wearing something tight or revealing.
I always accept the friend request, how could I ever refuse a pretty young thing in tight or revealing dress? After all she’s seen me, and based solely on my profile picture and the meager details of my “about” tab has decided I am someone she wants to have in her life, as a friend, and possibly as more.
It must be a gift I have, natural sex appeal, charisma, something in my eyes, that attract these women, time after time. Soon after I accept their request they message me in my inbox. Wanting to know all about me, fascinated with my relationship history, my future goals, my current job and how much money I make a year.
Then they want my cell phone number, to make keeping in touch easier, to text late at night, promising to send other pictures that they can’t post on their Facebook page for some reason. They want to make me feel good, they want to make me happy, they want to make sure I am no longer alone.
They seem to be under the impression that I think Facebook is a online dating service.
They seem to think I am desperate for the companionship of a young body and a pretty face.
They seem to think I am a gullible idiot.
They seem to think that I have no idea that they are professional scammers.
I still accept them as friends, mostly for the fun of it. My curiosity loves a good story, and I am always interested in seeing how they will spin it. The single mom from Ontario who finds the nights long and lonely. The female US vet just returning from serving in Afghanistan. The First Aid Worker in Africa. The massacre refugee finding shelter within a kind pastor’s church basement. Oh the many women who have come across my Facebook profile and knew from the picture of my scruffy beard, tired eyes and unkempt hair I was the one person in billions they wanted in their lives.
I miss those scammers.
Lately, recent scammers are becoming lazy, they aren’t even trying. I want to see them really try to convince me, really make on effort to win my affection and trust. I find I bore easy with today’s scammers. Where are the scammers that plied the world wide web when the internet was new? Where are the fashion models stranded in the jungle who needed me to work with their rich French uncles to get them safely home. Where are the widows of assassinated politicians needing my aid to help smuggle a fortune out of the country. One scammer long ago, introduced herself to me as being dead. How could I not resist knowing more about her and her friend request from beyond the grave?
Now I get scammers that don’t even pay attention to me. Earlier this week I got a friend request from “Jenet”. The day after I accepted we have our one and only conversation, posted here in it’s entirety.
She didn’t even listen to what I was saying, How sloppy is that? She should be paying attention, looking for clues in what I say in response, learning what buttons to push to win me over, what hints I give as to what it takes to separate me from my cash, But she wasn’t even listening to what I was saying! ”
I waited for her to continue. Nothing came. The little green light next to her name indicated she was still there but was ignoring me.
I was mad.
I went on Jenet’s Facebook wall and posted. “Come on, if you are going to try and scam me, at least put some effort into it.”
The next day her Facebook Profile had disappeared, permanently. Where is the fun in that?
So to you scammers of today, if you’re going to choose me as your mark at least make it a challenge! Use your imagination, improvise, go off script, because I am putting you all on notice now, if you’re not going to put the effort into what you are doing, I am no longer playing along.
I deserve your best!