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WELCOME TO A SPECIAL GROUNDHOG DAY SUNDAY REWRITE

(If you are looking for the final installment of the LIVING THE DREAM TRILOGY, it will be posted next Sunday)

For today, settle in, get comfortable, block out distractions and enjoy this holiday Sunday Rewrite

“A Woman in the Wind”   blog-2014-033-01

(A What Would You Do Adventure.)

-one-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I let her blow on past me ignoring her plight as I lean into the wind. A sudden stronger gust of wind catches her and with her own momentum she slams into the storefront like a fly on a windshield, then bounces off landing on the seat of her pants clutching a broken nose and a cracked tooth. I go to help her but then stop, feeling too ashamed. I turn my back on her, run to my car, lock myself inside and sit there watching as someone else comes to her aid.

The ambulance arrives with lights flashing.

No one will like me after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

-two-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and stretch out my hand to her. Just as she catches hold a sudden stronger gust of wind catches her and with her own momentum she pulls me off balance. She slams into the storefront like a fly on a windshield, then bounces off only to have me slam into her sending here into the storefront again. Ribs crack. I bounce back landing on the seat of  my pants. She lands beside me clutching a broken nose and two cracked teeth, and unable to breath easily. I run to my car, lock myself inside and sit there watching as someone else comes to her aid.

The ambulance arrives with lights flashing.

No one will respect me after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

-three-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and stretch out my hand to her. Knowing her own momentum could pull me off balance I brace my feet Just as she catches hold, a sudden, stronger gust of wind catches her and she is torn from my grasp. I make a lunge and my finger hooks the strap of her purse. It snaps and all the contents of her bag scattered to the wind, never to be seen again. She slams into the storefront like a fly on a windshield, then bounces off landing on the seat of her pants clutching a broken nose and and a cracked tooth. Someone else comes to her aid.  She points at me standing there with her empty broken purse in my hand. I am accused of purse-snatching.

The ambulance and police arrive with lights flashing.

No one will trust me after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

-four-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and move over to step in front of her. A sudden stronger gust of wind catches her and with her own momentum she slams into me harder then expected. She bounces off me landing on the seat of her pants, clutching the broken nose from hitting off my chin and a tooth cracked on the zipper of my coat. The force of our collision knocks me off my feet, sending me flying back through the storefront window. Plate glass shatters and  arteries are severed. Someone rushes to her aid. People just stand around looking at me, shaking their heads and agree its too late to help, he’s a goner. Everything fades to black and I smell ice cream and chocolate.

The ambulance and police arrive with lights flashing. Funeral arrangements are made.

No one will miss me after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

-five-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and move over to step in front of her. A sudden stronger gust of wind catches her and knowing her own momentum could slams into me harder then expected I brace my feet. She bounces off me hard, hitting the back of her head on the pavement, She’s oblivious of the broken nose she hit off my chin and the tooth cracked by the zipper of my coat. Someone rushes to her aid.

The ambulance arrive with lights flashing.

She lives the next 60 years in a vegetative state before regaining consciousness, unexpectedly. She asks the nurses for her grocery list and crosses off broccoli.

I am wracked with guilt and for the remainder of my life and can’t cross a paved street without a pillow duct taped to my head

Everyone will call me Mr. Pillowhead after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

-six-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and step in front of her. Knowing her own momentum could slams into me harder then expected I brace my feet. Also knowing that if I brace myself too solidly she could bounce off me hard, hitting the back of her head on the pavement putting her in a vegetative state for the next 60 year, She slams into me and I absorb the impact by falling backwards and crack my own head against the pavement. She remains on her feet looking down at me. I am saved from spending the next 50 years in vegetative state when a  sudden, stronger gust of wind catches her, blowing her forward. She steps on me with her high heels, impaling me between the ribs. A lung is punctured.

The ambulance and police arrive with lights flashing. Funeral arrangements are made.

No one will remember me after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

-seven-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and stretch out my free arm and hook her around her waist as she blows by. I scoop her to safety, allowing her to lean her back against my chest, bracing her against the wind. Then with my chin over her shoulder I whisper into her ear. “You’re safe, I have you now. ” We stand there as a sudden stronger gust of wind blows past us with no effect. Then she turns and slams me with her purse many times, breaking my nose and cracking my tooth. She knees me in the groin and I fall to the pavement cracking my head on the pavement. Unfortunately, it doesn’t put me in a vegetative and I suffer the sting of the hot pepper spray she pulls from her purse and douses me in the eyes.

The ambulance and police arrive with lights flashing. Dental bills are incurred. Everything smells like hot wings for weeks.

No one will believe me after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

-eight-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and stretch out my free arm and hook her around her waist as she blows by. I scoop her to safety, allowing her to lean her back against my chest, bracing her against the wind. Then with my chin over her shoulder I whisper into her ear. “You’re safe, I have you now. ” We stand there as a sudden stronger gust of wind blows past us with no effect. Then she panics thinking I am about to abduct her; dragging her off to some remote cabin in the forest.  The grocery store staff rush to her aid and wrestle me to the pavement, pinning me there face down, breaking my nose and cracking my tooth.

The police arrive with lights flashing.

I panic and try to explain I was only trying to help but now that my tooth is cracked I lisp and the police mistaken it for aggression.

I am tasered and do an impression of bacon frying on a grill.

Dental bills are incurred.

No one will ask me to babysit after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

-nine-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and stretch out my free arm and hook her around her waist as she blows by. I scoop her to safety, allowing her to lean her back against my chest, bracing her against the wind. Then with my chin over her shoulder I whisper into her ear. “You’re safe, I have you now. ” We stand there as a sudden stronger gust of wind blows past us with no effect. She giggles, snuggles into me, turns her head towards me with a smile, kisses me on the check and calls me her hero. Her 6’5, 350 pound monster of a very jealous boyfriend gets out of his truck, pounds me into the pavement breaking my nose and cracking my tooth.

The ambulance and police arrive with lights flashing.

Dental bills are incurred.

No one will trust me alone with their women after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

-ten-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and stretch out my free arm and hook her around her waist as she blows by. I scoop her to safety, allowing her to lean her back against my chest, bracing her against the wind. Then with my chin over her shoulder I whisper into her ear. “You’re safe, I have you now.” We stand there as a sudden stronger gust of wind blows past us with no effect. She giggles, snuggles into me, turns her head towards me with a smile, kisses me on the check and calls me her hero.  Her 5’3, 102 pound, harpy of a very jealous girlfriend gets out of her car, kicks me in the groin and pounds me into the pavement breaking my nose and cracking my tooth.

The ambulance and police arrive with lights flashing. Dental bills are incurred. And forever I am made fun of for getting the crap kicked out of me by a girl.

No one will take me serious after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

-eleven-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and stretch out my free arm and hook her around her waist as she blows by. I scoop her to safety, allowing her to lean her back against my chest, bracing her against the wind. Then with my chin over her shoulder I whisper into her ear. “You’re safe, I have you now.” We stand there as a sudden stronger gust of wind blows past us with no effect. She giggles, snuggles into me, turns her head towards me with a smile. That’s when I notice an Adam’s Apple, 5 o’clock shadow and a very deep voice that says, “Thanks, Dude.” I turn and run blindly, slamming into the storefront like a fly on a windshield, bouncing off and landing on the seat of my pants clutching a broken nose and a cracked tooth.

I shower and shower for days but just can’t seem to get clean.

No one will believe my orientation after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

-twelve-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and stretch out my free arm and hook her around her waist as she blows by. I scoop her to safety, allowing her to lean her back against my chest, bracing her against the wind. Then with my chin over her shoulder I whisper into her ear. “You’re safe, I have you now. ” We stand there as a sudden stronger gust of wind blows past us with no effect. She giggles, snuggles into me, turns her head towards me with a smile, kisses me on the check and calls me her hero.  She offers to reward me by buying me lunch, which I graciously accept. We have a wonderful time and decide to take a walk hand in hand afterwards. As the evening approaches we watch the sun set and smile and laugh as we count the stars.

My supervisor tracks me down and fires me on the spot for not returning to work after lunch, accusing me of dereliction of my duties, she refuses to give me a reference, leaving me unhireable.

The woman I rescued is horrified at my lack of responsibility and runs of in tears never wanting to see me again, claiming I am not the person she thought I was.

No one will ever read my resume after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

 -thirteen-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and stretch out my free arm and hook her around her waist as she blows by. I scoop her to safety, allowing her to lean her back against my chest, bracing her against the wind. Then with my chin over her shoulder I whisper into her ear. “You are safe, I have you now. ” We stand there as a sudden stronger gust of wind blows past us with no effect. She giggles, snuggles into me, turns her head towards me with a smile, kisses me on the check and calls me her hero. She offers to reward me by buying me lunch, which I graciously decline, explaining that I have to get back to work. She asks for my number and I smile, laying my bag of groceries on the pavement. I punch my number into her mobile phone. I return to work, happily whistling a cherry tune, but when I arrive I realize I left my groceries back in the parking lot and no longer have time to retrieve them. I do without lunch and become irritable. I end up mouthing off to my supervisor who fires me on the spot . She refuses to give me a reference, leaving me unhireable. I can’t pay my bills, the phone company is not happy and disconnect my service.

I never get invited to lunch because every time she calls me she gets a message saying this number is no longer in service and believes I gave her a fake number to avoid seeing her again.

No one will ever approve my credit after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

 -fourteen-

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

I decide not to ignore her plight as I lean into the wind and stretch out my free arm and hook her around her waist as she blows by. I scoop her to safety, allowing her to lean her back against my chest, bracing her against the wind. Then with my chin over her shoulder I whisper into her ear. “You’re safe, I have you now. ” We stand there as a sudden stronger gust of wind blows past us with no effect. She giggles, snuggles into me, turns her head towards me with a smile, kisses me on the check and calls me her hero.  She offers to reward me by buying me lunch, which I graciously accept. I borrow her mobile phone to call into work and take the rest of the day off with sick time I had saved up. We have a wonderful time and decide to take a walk hand in hand afterwards. As the evening approaches we watch the sun set and smile and laugh as we count the stars. We kiss and she unexpectedly says, marry me. I just as unexpectedly say OK, and I get down on my knee and propose on the spot. We find the mayor and he marries us right away. The ceremony is short and sweet, witnessed by the town hall’s  night cleaning staff. I carry her across the threshold and we kiss long and slow. The doorbell rings, interrupting our kiss. I open it and her mother pushes me aside and moves in, telling me to get her luggage and pay the cab. She sits herself in my chair and uses my wide-screen TV to watch multiple episodes of Coronation Street and reruns of the View.  The doorbell rings again. I open it and my wife’s unemployed, freeloading brother high fives me and punches my shoulder hard, calling me Broooooo. He pushes me aside and moves in, telling me to get his luggage and pay the cab. He cranks up the volume on my radio, blasting my place with old fashion country and western twang, then proceeds to use up all the bandwidth on my internet service downloading illegal episodes of Murder She wrote and Matlock for the new girlfriend he just met on “plenty of fish dot com” and has just invited to come and live with him in my place rent free. She will be bringing her six babies too.  He asks if I can get her luggage and pay the cab when she arrives.  The doorbell rings and I am surprised to see it’s not my brother-in-law’s new girlfriend, rather, it’s my new wife’s  6’5, 350 pound monster of a very jealous ex-boyfriend standing there crying worse then six babies combined.  His 5’3, 102 pound harpy of a very jealous girlfriend, whom he had previously left my new wife (his then girlfriend) for, had kicked him out of their house when she caught him thanking a dude who had prevented him from blowing into a storefront earlier on this windy day. With nowhere to turn he found his way here. My wife comforts him on the front porch and informs me she has invited him to stay with us till he gets back on his feet. He proceeds to clean out the food in my fridge, high fives my new, Broooooooo, and sits with my new mother in law in front of the TV, shouting through tears at the British soap opera stars not to make the same mistakes with their lives that he had. I find my wife answering the door bell. The woman arriving passes over 3 crying babies to my wife before heading back to the cab to get three more mewling infants which she then places in my arms. She apologizes for the crying sextuplets and explains they need to be feed, burped and changed. I try not to drop the babies. Her luggage is still in the cab so she tells me not to worry, she’ll go get it. She never comes back. My my new bro-in-law racks up internet over-usage charges searching for a new girl friend to move in. Mother in law shouts from the living room to shut the crying babies up because she can’t hear Joy argue with Elisabeth. The door is kicked in by the 5’3, 102 pound harpy of a very jealous girlfriend screaming for her man. She sees my wife and roars that she should of known her gutless,  6’5, 350 pound monster of a very weak-spined boyfriend would have come crawling back to his ex.

Tempers flair!

The ambulance and police arrive with lights flashing. Vegetative states are entered. Dental bills are incurred. Tasered are discharged and frying bacon impressions are made. Forever I am made fun of for getting the crap kicked out of me by a girl. Noses are broken, teeth are cracked. Department of Child Welfare is called. The internet is disconnected. Furniture is thrown, wide-screen TV are smashed.  The lights go out. Shots are fired. Funeral arrangements are made. I find myself in shredded clothes running across the grocery store parking lot screaming for this day to please, please, please end. I start slamming my head against the storefront window until mercifully unconsciousness claims me.

I will lose all dignity and self-respect after sharing this.  😦

This is now the worst day of my life!

the conclusion

The alarm sounds and I crawl out of bed. I feel the house shake a  little; another windy day. My car warms up and I am off to work. The morning is uneventful. On my lunch break I head to the grocery story to pick up several thing to have for my noon meal and pay for it with a gift card I received last Christmas.

I had just exited the grocery store with a bag of groceries in one hand…  It is very windy and I have to lean forward to make my way into the wind… I hear the sound of clip, clip, clip, clip, coming towards me on the pavement… I look up to see a tall, slim, blonde woman, trying to keep her balance as the wind blows her across the parking lot… The wind is so strong she is unable to stop. She has a worried look on her face.

I have three seconds to decide what to do about the woman in the wind.

THIS IS WHAT I DECIDE!

I smile at her as she blows closer and say with a laugh, “Don’t forget to stop.”

She smiles back and says, “Good idea.”

Heeding my advice she starts slowing herself so that when a sudden stronger gust of wind catches her, her own momentum has ceased and she is able to stand against it and not be slams into the storefront like a fly on a windshield.

She gets her groceries.

I go back to work and eat lunch, pondering things that might have been.

No body will ever believe some of the things I imagined until after I share this.

This has been another normal day in my life!

blog-2014-033-02

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5 thoughts on “Groundhog Day

  1. I cannot believe nobody else has commented on what an original and innovative piece this is. I really enjoyed it and got caught up in the sheer rhythm of the read. Great ending that I didn’t see coming but now no other ending could ever suffice. Some good laughs in the middle to end sections as well. All in all, a Groundhog Day Delight! Thank you!

    • Now, what’s the best way for me to reply to this comment? So many possibilities…

      Thank you very much, I appreciate it. This was one of my favorite pieces. Rereading parts of it even made me laugh out loud.

  2. This is pretty epic. It was beginning to shape up like one of the Final Destination movies or a particularly sadistic Choose-Your-Own-Adventure, but I’m glad it ended fairly well. At least with no cracked teeth.

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