Why should I let you in?

So many different reputations over my years, each dependent on that current stage of my life or that place I then found myself dwelling or the job working.

Reputations, some positive, other flattering, a few annoying and one or two outright upsetting, or would be if I actually cared.

My friends in high school know me for certain things while friends in college know me for reasons entirely different.

Employees at one job will know me for this while employees at another job know me for that.

Each reputation garnered were true to some extent, each a different aspects of my personality. My choice to project that aspect for that situation and time.

Some groups know me as a goody-goody and it surprises them when they learn from another group of my reputation for trouble making.

Some know me as an unmotivated non self-starter and they are left questioning when they hear someone else refer to me of being one of the most creative people around.

Over the years I have used reputations as a shield, a wall. I project a single aspect of my personality to a group. That aspect becomes what most people there believe me to be. My reputation satisfies them. People believe they know me, they have me figured out, and leave it at that.

Just the way I like it.

It’s not that I am not willing to let someone know the real me, the total me. It’s just the people I want to open up to have to be someone truly interesting in knowing more, someone willing to push past the reputation and accept whatever they find beyond.

My experience reveals the majority of people we acquaint with through life really have no desire to put the effort into finding out who we truly are. They just want us to punch a clock, to listen to them complain about crap, to stand next to them in a line up so they don’t look alone, to be seen with someone pretty.  As for who we really are, most people are quite content believing whatever our reputation may be at that time and how that benefits them.  If that satisfies then why waste my time opening up, sharing, investing, trusting, and confiding who I truly am. Let them believe who they think they know me to be.

That frees me to focus on those who are truly interested in knowing me, and surprising them with the wealth of knowledge waiting to be discovered.

12 thoughts on “You Think You Know Me?

  1. I do that too… use my reputation as a shield… sometimes it’s easier that way. Sometimes it’s easier to be what people expect you to be. Great writing!

    • Thank you Mrs H. It is easier to be what people expect, but there comes an occasional individual in who I find great delight in shattering their expectations of me. Some of those people need to be amazed, while other just need a good taste of fear! 🙂

  2. The first time I saw your blog name, I read it as Blackader and I thought of that PBS character. Sometimes I skim read too fast and I read what’s not there. Your post on reputations and really knowing people has created curiosity of knowing more about you, the mystery of who really are. Your post reminds me of how there are boxes people put us in, or cliques. I’m pretty good about being a chameleon, switching character to match others around me. I think that there are not many people who really know me. People are too busy in their own little worlds to take the time to find out. Perhaps they don’t want to dig a little further because they’ll be disappointed that I am not who they think I am. Thanks for the post. I look forward to find out who’s behind that wall.

    • 🙂 I have never been mistaken for Mr. Bean before. People are busy in there own little worlds. What I do with my posts is to give people little glimpse into mine. Hints of who I am. I don’t feel like I am living behind a wall, its more like I am in the middle of a maze. There is a path that leads to me but a person has to be determined, not easily frustrated, and have a good sense of direction to reach the solution to this mystery. Oh and there just may be a minotaur loose. Watch out for that.

  3. Pingback: Day 17: Increase Your Commenting Confidence | Words to the Wise or otherwise just words

  4. Really enjoyed this blog. Good food for thought.
    Interested in the idea of the ” total me” you write about.
    Maybe it’s because it sounds like a fixed thing. Guess that’s what I was struck by.I think I keep developing and hope to til the day I die and so as I meet people at different points, it feels they will inevitably all experience something a bit different. And because different people somehow bring out different bits of me and I enjoy that …friends who I laugh lots with, others who bring out a more serious me, ones who push me to be a bit bolder and all of that..
    I do agree people will make up their own minds about us and I still enjoy influencing that – surprising them if I think they’ve typecast me, challenging them if I feel they’ve got me wrong… And sometimes it doesn’t matter and they can think what they like!

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