So many different reputations over my years, each dependent on that current stage of my life or that place I then found myself dwelling or the job working.
Reputations, some positive, other flattering, a few annoying and one or two outright upsetting, or would be if I actually cared.
My friends in high school know me for certain things while friends in college know me for reasons entirely different.
Employees at one job will know me for this while employees at another job know me for that.
Each reputation garnered were true to some extent, each a different aspects of my personality. My choice to project that aspect for that situation and time.
Some groups know me as a goody-goody and it surprises them when they learn from another group of my reputation for trouble making.
Some know me as an unmotivated non self-starter and they are left questioning when they hear someone else refer to me of being one of the most creative people around.
Over the years I have used reputations as a shield, a wall. I project a single aspect of my personality to a group. That aspect becomes what most people there believe me to be. My reputation satisfies them. People believe they know me, they have me figured out, and leave it at that.
Just the way I like it.
It’s not that I am not willing to let someone know the real me, the total me. It’s just the people I want to open up to have to be someone truly interesting in knowing more, someone willing to push past the reputation and accept whatever they find beyond.
My experience reveals the majority of people we acquaint with through life really have no desire to put the effort into finding out who we truly are. They just want us to punch a clock, to listen to them complain about crap, to stand next to them in a line up so they don’t look alone, to be seen with someone pretty. As for who we really are, most people are quite content believing whatever our reputation may be at that time and how that benefits them. If that satisfies then why waste my time opening up, sharing, investing, trusting, and confiding who I truly am. Let them believe who they think they know me to be.
That frees me to focus on those who are truly interested in knowing me, and surprising them with the wealth of knowledge waiting to be discovered.