I think being bullied by a bully with one last name is only half as bad as being bullied by a bully with two last names.

Primary School from Hell
Chapter Four: The Twice Surnamed Bully

[Continuing from]


In order to avoid the devouring dangers of Crawley’s Pond we would often play in the school yard. That presented a set of dangers all its own. It was there I had my first experience with bullying, with me being the bullied. “Hey, Goldilocks!” I was called by someone taller and meaner then me. Some kid who’s last name escapes me but I know he had two. I remember the teacher telling us it had changed between kindergarten and grade one but gave us no indication why, leaving it up to our six year old imaginations to come up with a reason why a boy with one last name would come back to school after the summer holidays with two last names. I concluded he was probably hiding from the police.

“I’m talking to you Goldilocks,” the bully shouted! I was not blonde nor did I eat other peoples’ porridge, so I deduce I was being called that nickname because my last name was Locke. “I gonna always call you Goldilocks from now on cause your last name as Locke!” How kind of him to confirm my thinking.

Never one to back down from a bully in those early days I decided to fight fire with fire. One of his last names may have been something like Caravan or Trask so I decided to use his surname to make fun of him. “Yeah? Well your Little Red Riding Hood.” My logic and verbal jousting skills left a lot to be desired back in first grade. I smiled and walked away leaving him with a puzzled look on his face as he tried to figure out what little Red Riding Hood had to do with anything.

Then I ran very fast when he stopped trying to figure it out and chased me across the school yard.

Fortunately, Goldilocks didn’t stick. After all, except for our name, we didn’t really have much in common.

Judge for yourself.

=Bradley Locke & Goldilocks=

After primary school I graduated to new nicknames such as Jr. Meatball, Grizzly Adams and Skipper Jarge.


One thought on “Thought 155: The Twice Surnamed Bully

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s